Aligning mind, body & heart

Terms like aligning mind, body and heart can seem a bit abstract so I’m going to define this in the way I see it before we explore connectedness more.  To me aligning mind, body and heart means living in a loving and embodied way aligned with our purpose and what’s meaningful, living from a place of love, compassion & connectedness.  By living in a loving and embodied way I mean noticing how, for example, our thoughts and feelings, are showing up in the body in a compassionate and non-judgemental way.  Part of healing is awakening our senses and being able to fully be in the present moment in an embodied and loving way.  We can’t do this if we are stuck in hyperarousal or hypoarousal, where we are stuck in our heads or rushing around all the time, disconnected from ourselves and the world around us, and not feeling safe/settled and secure.  Aligning body, mind and heart helps us regulate our nervous system, awaken to a deeper way of being and reconnect to the connectedness of everything.

Living in an embodied and open hearted way can also help us see that the obstacles and challenges that appear as part of life can help us awaken and grow.  We can ask questions that support with this like how can this help me grow? How can this help me serve myself and others?  How might this help serve my heartfelt intentions or aspirations?  Sometimes things are overwhelming, these times we won’t know the answers to these questions and we will struggle to connect to our bodies, these times we may need to find a suitable therapist to support us.

Love & connectedness in healing 

One of the things that is really important in healing is that our suffering is witnessed and acknowledged in a compassionate and non-judgemental way.  Suffering that is not witnessed and acknowledged, or done so in a critical way, often causes more trauma.   Love, compassion & connection are needed here because when we aren’t fully present and connected we can’t truly notice our suffering, or that of another, and without love and compassion there is judgement and criticism.

Acceptance is important in healing, it isn’t a one off thing, instead it’s ongoing and it can be said to be a moment by moment process.   Acceptance isn’t passive, it doesn’t mean putting up with something, or that things won’t change (things are always changing right down to each moment).  A great strength or courage is needed to be able to let go and trust in our inner wisdom and the process.  With curiosity, openness, courage and a compassionate loving presence (a heartfelt presence) we can notice and allow what’s present in the moment to be exactly as it is, even if it’s not how we would ideally choose it to be.  Being present with love & compassion helps us accept and allow what’s present to be without, for example, self-blame or self-criticism, and when these do appear they can be met with compassion and love too.   Allowing what’s present to be needs a sense of safety, or feeling safe enough in the present moment.  This means that we need the nervous system to be balanced or close to balance (where we are within our window of tolerance/ventral vagal system).

From a place of noticing what’s present in the body we can increase our understanding, connect to our inner wisdom and discern what’s supportive for us.  Any action comes from our inner wisdom rather than from a threat based reaction, for example a pushing away, trying to get rid of something, or avoiding.  It’s important for us to stop over controlling and resisting, this is part of being in a regulated nervous system (resistance & over control are part of our threat system and protection mechanisms), as it calms our nervous system and allows new possibilities to begin to surface.  Allowing what’s present to be with an acceptance or openness is a place where fear softens and we can start to see what’s resting underneath.  Holding whatever is present, in love compassion isn’t always easy and this is part of the practice and the healing.  Things can reappear that we thought we had dealt with once, that we had healed, new layers surface for healing, here again we practice acceptance and compassion.

We need trust to allow the healing process to unfold in its own time without wanting it to be a certain way or create a certain outcome, without pushing or resisting, easier said than done I know (that’s part of the practice too).  We naturally push away or resist what causes suffering and grasp what creates joy and the things we want more of.  Part of suffering is in the pushing away and grasping, we can learn to allow things to flow through (an ever ongoing practice).  We can, for example, notice that pain is present and allow it to be in the background as best we can, rather than trying to get rid of it and getting frustrated, angry or self-critical when nothing works.  This doesn’t mean we don’t take action to try and alleviate the suffering, instead it comes from a different place and we take wise action.  This may be no action sometimes, or something simple like after noticing what’s present and allowing it to be, offering ourselves some soothing words or soothing touch (this could be part of Tara Brach’s R.A.I.N practice or Kritsin Neff’s self-compassion break, for example).  We also need to learn to hold the outcome lightly, we cannot control this as there are many variable (some we don’t see) we can influence the outcome and control how we relate to it.

Often when we are suffering we lose trust in ourselves, I have seen this time and time again working with people with persistent pain, other long-term conditions and felt it myself.  The decreased trust, or the loss of trust, brings an opportunity to connect more deeply to it and develop more of a kind of unshakeable trust.  Part of trust is trusting that we have the skills, knowledge, resources/practices to manage, or if we don’t then believing that with support we can develop them.  Learning to trust the healing process is important and it means we need to trust in uncertainty too.  Trusting in uncertainty isn’t easy, it’s important because so much is uncertain in life, this means we need to let go of over control.  Being safely grounded in compassion and love links with trust in holding us steady enough within the uncertainty, within what feels like a vulnerable place.

Reconnecting to our inner wisdom is so important in healing, it supports and guides us.  Terms like inner wisdom and our true nature or essence, can seem a bit abstract, they aren’t tangible things we can see.  Our inner wisdom and true nature both hold love & compassion and connecting to them is important in healing.  Connecting to our inner wisdom through our body guides us in many ways, for example it can guide us when to explore something to deepen understanding and when to allow something to be in the background for the time being.  Sometimes we need help to access our inner wisdom especially if there is unprocessed trauma, the light of compassion and love can be hidden under layers.

Feeling the connectedness to love, nature and the wider whole is also important in healing and our overall wellbeing.  Research is showing us that it is not necessarily the amount of time that we spend in nature that is significant for our wellbeing, except in terms of physical wellbeing, there needs to be a sense of connectedness too (physical wellbeing needs this too, so again it’s not just the time in nature that’s important).  Sometimes we have disconnected from the interconnectedness of nature, reconnecting to this is part of our healing and it’s needed for natures healing.  Nature’s wisdom combines with our inner wisdom and can guide us when we listen.  If we haven’t lost the connection to the connectedness with nature then the sense of connectedness with this tends to deepen as part of healing.  Nature is part of us and we are part of nature, our wellbeing and natures wellbeing are inextricably interlinked, connecting to this helps our healing and also the healing that nature is desperately calling out for.

The interconnectedness with nature and something bigger than us may resonate with you or it may not, either way is ok.  If these things are of interest one of the books that I would recommend is called ‘Reconnection: Fixing Our Broken Relationship With Nature’ by Miles Richardson.

Common Humanity & Healing

As human beings we all experience joys and sorrows, love and loss, easier times and tough times, suffering and healing.  This is the common humanity we all share, we share many things as part of being human and connecting to this is important in healing.  Connection to others is important in healing, we are social animals.  We self-regulate and we co-regulate, our nervous system talks to other nervous systems.

Adapting to and processing many losses is part of being human and is often part of healing too  This can be for many reason, for example, from the multiple losses related to living with a chronic health condition, from life being different from the way you wished it to be, and/or from the loss of a loved one.  There isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve.  I wrote a grief and loss in persistent pain & other long term health conditions blog which you can find this here:

Part one https://unityphysio.co.uk/grief-loss-in-persistent-pain-other-health-conditions-part-one/

Part two https://unityphysio.co.uk/grief-loss-in-persistent-pain-other-health-conditions-part-two/

It is the tough times that we learn the most from and these times that we need a toolbox of practices to draw on, these can also be referred to as strategies or resources.  The tough times strengthen our heart and allow our heart to open more fully, to be present with love, compassion and courage, connect to the depth of our strength and to connect more deeply to the connectedness of everything with a sense of spaciousness.  We cannot heal until we learn what supports our nervous system regulation and have some resources/practices to support this and healing, we create more resources along our healing journey too.

What supports healing?

There are many things that can support us each day, that can become part of a way of being and part of healing, including: embodied self-awareness practices (awareness in the body), meditation, mindfulness, breath practices, self-compassion, yoga, exercise and movement, walking, time in nature, journaling, distraction (sometimes this is needed, for example when things are over whelming) and many more things.

When I had a really tough couple of years due to some health conditions I leaned deeply into my yoga and compassion practices and drew on many other resources that I had, my gratitude for these deepened and I developed many more resources through this time too.  I also reached out for additional support, remember we can’t heal on our own.

What practices and resources/strategies do you use to support you day to day?

Summary

To heal we need many things including: to restore balance and retrain our nervous system, a sense of safety and trust, an embodied loving awareness, acceptance, a variety of resources/practices along with a daily commitment to practice, belongingness, support of others, connection and connectedness, and of course compassion and love.  Healing takes time and a toolbox of strategies and practices, it’s not one thing that helps us heal it’s many things.  We can’t heal on our own, we need the co-regulation and support of others which can take many forms.  Sometimes support needs to be in the form of a therapist, other times it could be a coach or mentor, friends, or a wider community group that we are part of.

As we heal the confusion that we had in our suffering evolves into clarity and we awaken a little more to our true selves and the interconnectedness in everything too.  There are times that we think we have healed and everything is going smoothly and then something happens that opens up new layers that are ready to be healed.   Healing is something I have come to see as being ongoing, maybe you can relate to this too.  I don’t think there is a destination unless it is to return to our true selves and wholeness, to the alignment of mind body and heart and live from this place, and return again and again.  Each time there is a challenge or an obstacle it gives us an opportunity to grow and connect to our true selves, our inner wisdom, and more deeply to the connectedness within and around us.

We all already have what’s needed for healing within us, to access and nurture this we need to be able to safely connect to our bodies and we often need to change how we are relating to ourselves, from being critical, for example, to being more compassionate.  Sometimes we need help from a psychologist, or another psychological clinician to do this, for example when there is unresolved or unprocessed trauma.  We all have within us a core essence of compassion and love, this light never goes out, sometimes it’s under layers and we need help to be able to start to see it, and the more we connect to this place the more brightly it shines.

Healing has many aspects and perhaps we could see it as being rooted in connectedness and love, and aligning mind, body and heart.  I have come to understand that our healing rests within the love that is within and around us all and the connection to the interconnectedness of everything.  Healing is a place where enougness, okness, compassion, love, trust and freedom all rest.  Connecting to the wisdom of our body, heart, inner trust, compassion and love over and over again helps us to heal & develop an unshakeable inner core, or at least a less shakeable one.  The inner wisdom that is within us all, our core of love and compassion, is a place that we can come to know more deeply with time and once we have an embodied knowing (a felt sense in our body) we can return again and again to our true selves and a balanced state (our ventral vagal system/window of tolerance) that supports healing.  As we heal we can live more fully in an open hearted presence, developing a new way to be, relating to ourselves in a more loving and compassionate way and extending this love and compassion to others and the world around us.

To finish this blog I’m sharing a poem that I wrote called ‘Healing Within’:

Many things were unknown

Couldn’t be seen

In the darkness there was always some light

Flickering gently

Leading the way

Slowly, step by step

Pauses scattered through

Compassionate awareness enveloping

Body wisdom guiding to explore

What’s resting inside, to be seen, accepted and loved

Slowly, never to be rushed

Each footstep exploring

Heart trusting

A loving presence guiding

Exploring and listening

Natures wisdom shining

Deepening a knowing

Harmony evolving

Learning a new way to be

Compassion, love and trust united

Deeply embedded within

Shining brightly

Holding the steadiness

Resting in aliveness

Connected to the unity

Being & healing

You may also like to check out the poem I wrote called The Body Remembers The Trust

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2pgR3COJLPk

I would love to hear your thoughts on healing and this blog, do drop me an email if you would like to (info@unityphysio.co.uk) or share some thoughts in the comments on social media where I’ve shared this blog.

The post Healing Within Connectedness & Love (part two) appeared first on Unity Physiotherapy and Wellbeing.

I’ve especially been considering healing in relation to trauma, persistent pain, ME/CFS, long covid, PoTS and other long-term conditions, which is probably because these are the areas I work within and have lived experience of some too.   Many people are healing from trauma and/or a long-term health conditions in our modern world.  Last week I read in a new report by The Health Foundation it has suggested that 9.1 million people in England are expected to live with a major illness by 2040 and that a significant proportion of this will be related to certain conditions, including anxiety, depression, chronic pain and diabetes.   In my opinion there are many factors that need consideration here including healing and the innate connectedness that we need to reconnect to and nurture.

What does healing mean?

There is no agreed definition of healing, healing in acute terms means repairing damaged tissues, or fixing an injury, for example.  Things get complex when it’s not a simple acute injury and there isn’t a specific time frame to heal or repair the wound/injury.  When there are, for example, layers of trauma, or many symptoms from fibromyalgia, or someone is living with persistent pain healing becomes trickier to define.

Before reading on I invite you to consider what healing means to you?

I think we could say that healing is always an individual experience that involves reducing or transforming suffering.   However, if we were to say healing is only a change in suffering this would be a simplistic view, especially as suffering is complex and it is always changing, everything is always changing, and because healing is about more than the suffering or struggle that is part of the picture.

Another thing to consider with what healing means is that it may or may not mean full resolution of pain, anxiety, or other symptoms.  Often people have shared with me themes around alignment with their heart and what’s meaningful, connectedness and wholeness as part of what healing means to them, and these are things I can relate to from my own healing journey too.   Some people may say that not feeling whole implies that something is broken and needs fixing.  I don’t see it this way and instead see it as a disconnection from our true selves, disconnection from nature and a disconnection from the wider whole/universe (there are different terms for this, it can essentially be seen as something bigger than ourselves).  Although we may at times feel broken we never really are, our true self is like the sky in that it is always there and can never be broken and the weathers come and go.

A journey to wholeness is something I see as a heart based connection, a connection to meaning and purpose, to a sense of belonging, and to the love, trust and compassion that’s within us all.  We could maybe say that healing is a coming home to ourselves, reconnecting to our inner wisdom and connecting to the interconnectedness of everything.  I would say healing is also an alignment of mind, body and heart, a place where we can live fully connected from an open hearted presence with a gentle strength and love.  We will explore this a little more in part two of the blog.

I think that it is helpful to consider what nervous system regulation means in the context of healing, especially because we can’t heal with a nervous system that is dysregulated too often/too much.

What is nervous system regulation?

Nervous system regulation includes the whole nervous system and is often discussed in terms of the autonomic nervous system.  Everyone’s nervous system dysregulates many times a day and then re-regulates, the problems come when the nervous system is dysregulating too often or too much relative to the context and not re-regulating well.  A well regulated nervous systems helps us to feel safe or safe enough to be fully present and to engage with others and the world in general, and it helps all of our systems to function optimally.

There isn’t an agreed definition of nervous system regulation, this is one that I created for my Creating A Healing Path workshop series:

‘Nervous system regulation can be thought of as when our nervous system is flexibly able to move between different states in response to stressors & the level of arousal matches the context/what you are required to do.  It is where it is working in a balanced way that supports optimal function & healing.’

A quick summary of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) could be helpful here.  The ANS unconsciously controls and regulates our organs and unconscious body functions, including heart rate, breathing (which we also have conscious control over), blood pressure, and temperature.  It is split into two branches, the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), fight or flight, and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), rest and digest.  These work together to maintain a state of balance in the body (homeostasis) and we need both branches of the ANS, neither is good or bad.  The levels of activation of the SNS and PNS are always fluctuating, our central nervous system CNS) and autonomic nervous system are constantly adjusting, along with all other systems, to try and maintain homeostasis.  Our ANS and the CNS (mainly the amygdala and hypothalamus in the limbic system in the brain) are constantly monitoring for threat/danger or safety.  The ANS and CNS are constantly surveying our internal environment (information from all systems), along with our immediate and wider external environment, including how the interactions with others feel.  Our nervous system takes a better safe than sorry approach and our previous experiences and modern society mean it is often dysregulated by things that aren’t actual threats.  Once the threat, or potential threat, has gone we need to be able to return to regulation to function optimally and feel safe and settled again.  When this doesn’t happen automatically or takes sometime we can assist this process and there are many ways in which we can do this, this is part of healing.

It is important to mention that changes in ANS activation are associated with different chemical messengers which of course impact all of our systems.  Our thoughts feelings and emotions are also in themselves associated with different chemical messengers, they are part of our biology too.

There are different models that can help us to understand the ANS and nervous system regulation, the ones I use most often are Dan Siegel’s window of tolerance and Stephen Porge’s polyvagal theory, combined with the 3 circles model by Paul Gilbert (part of Compassion Focused Therapy).  For this blog I’m going to touch on the window of tolerance model and polyvagal theory.

The window of tolerance model was developed by Dan Siegel to describe the optimal level of arousal, it has three parts:

• Hyperarousal (too much SNS – fight or flight)
• Window of tolerance – optimal zone of arousal (balanced ANS)
• Hypoarousal (not enough SNS & PNS without the vagal brake)

In this model a dysregulated nervous system is one that is too often, or too much for the context, in hyperarousal or hypoarousal, and/or takes longer to regulate from these states back to regulation, and sometimes gets stuck for a while in one of these threat/protection based states.  When the nervous system is dysregulated in the direction of hyperarousal a variety of things associated with this can be present including: fear, panic, initial freeze (deer in headlights) emotional overwhelm, anxiety, irritability, anger, over-activity, lack of clarity, worry, gut issues, increased muscle tension, pain, insomnia, a tired and wired feeling.  When the nervous system is dysregulated in the direction of hypoarousal a variety of things associated with this can be present including: disconnection, dissociation, low mood, depression, decreased muscle tone, shame, guilt, feeling numb, fatigue, shut down.

(infographic by Dr Sarah Davies, the link to the blog that this is in is below)

Through the lens of the polyvagal theory by Stephen Porges we see the ANS protection responses as:

• SNS (fight or flight, includes the initial freeze response)
• Shut down or collapse (PNS minus vagal brake, termed dorsal vagal in this model)

Porges suggests that there are three pathways in the ANS, being the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) (mobilised/activated, protect/survival mode, unsafe), the ventral vagal circuit (safe, regulated, sympathetic and parasympathetic activity balanced with the vagal brake, and able to be socially engaged) and the dorsal vagal circuit (unsafe, protect/survival mode, shut down).   These three systems/states are also included on the above infographic).  The SNS part is where there is increased SNS activation (hyperarousal in window of tolerance).  The initial freeze response (deer in headlight type response) is SNS dominant, this is where we freeze whilst a decision is automatically made as to whether we can fight or flee, if neither are possible and this response continues eventually the SNS is overwhelmed by the PNS (we lose the ventral vagal regulation, the vagal brake – the rest and digest part of the PNS).  Here we go into a primitive survival response of shutdown or collapse, this is termed dorsal vagal in this model (it’s where there is increased hypoarousal in the window of tolerance model).  The ventral vagal system is where we are said to be safely activated, in other words the SNS is balanced by the PNS with the vagal brake.  Here all systems can function optimally, the ANS is in balance, the limbic system in the brain is settled and the frontal lobe is online.  When we are in the ventral vagal system we feel safe and secure, this supports social connection and full engagement in a heartfelt presence with ourselves and the world.

The wider our window of tolerance, the more frequently we can be in the ventral vagal system and the more easily we can return to this place again and again.  This helps systems function optimally and we can, for example, find ease within challenges.  Being in our ventral vagal system or window of tolerance helps create the conditions that support healing.  Also with a wider window of tolerance we can more often be in a full heart felt presence and have a greater tolerance to be with our own and others suffering, along with being able to access the wisdom to discern what may be helpful in alleviating or decreasing the suffering.

There is a lot of information on the window of tolerance model and polyvagal theory available, like this blog on the window of tolerance model:

https://www.drsarahdavies.com/post/what-is-window-of-tolerance-emotional-regulation-model-explained

You can find a free beginners guide to polyvagal theory on Deb Dana’s website here:

https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/resources

Considering nervous system regulation alone would be a reductionist way of looking at things, it needs to be considered as part of the whole picture.  This includes considering all systems, what is happening in our body, the thoughts and memories that are present, our behaviour, previous experiences, essentially the whole of our experience and the connectedness of everything.

Summary

Healing doesn’t have an agreed definition except in acute injury.  Healing involves changing or transforming suffering and creates a new way of being through reconnection to our true self and living aligned with our mind, body and heart.

When our nervous system is not well regulated, we don’t feel safe, we can’t see the bigger picture and are disconnected from ourselves, others and the wider whole, and we can’t heal from this place.  It is important we remember that we don’t control any of our nervous systems threat/protection responses (hyperarousal/hypoarousal), they are quickly automatically activated when protection is deemed as needed.  When we are within our window of tolerance or ventral vagal system enough (a regulated and balanced nervous system state) we are safely able to fully connect to ourselves and others, have a more expansive view, and conditions are optimised for healing.  A healing state is one that rests in safety and connection, a place where strength & gentleness are balanced, a place where the seeds of change can be planted, begin to grow and later flourish and these are all part of having a well-balanced regulated nervous system.

Perhaps we could see healing as a return to wholeness, or an alignment of mind, body & heart.  An alignment and wholeness that means that we can live a life full of meaning, with a sense of purpose, fully connected to ourselves, others & to something bigger than ourselves (the wider whole) in an open hearted and grounded way.  These will be explored a little in  part two of this blog.

What do you think, does this way of seeing healing resonate with you?

Link to part two of the blog https://unityphysio.co.uk/healing-within-connectedness-love-part-two/

(brain in hands image with this blog is from Shutterstock by Sergey Nivens, all others are owned by Ann Parkinson at Unity Physiotherapy & Wellbeing)

The post Healing Within Connectedness & Love (part one) appeared first on Unity Physiotherapy and Wellbeing.