The festive period can be a wonderful time and a difficult one too for a variety of reasons for some people, including for people managing health conditions associated with persistent pain and fatigue.  These health conditions include: persistent pain, fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, long covid and PoTS.  If you live with one of these conditions, or another, you may find Christmas challenging or you may sail though it, many don’t.  I’m hoping there will be some information and tips in this blog that will help make the festive period easier to manage for people who are living with pain & fatigue.  As we move into the blog remember even a little change can make a big difference. 

The festive period commonly brings with it a lot of stress, a variety of feelings and emotions, decreased routine and lack of sleep and other things.  These are are things that can turn up the dial on pain and fatigue.  Strategies/tools/practices that help to manage pain & fatigue in general, to manage stress and regulate our nervous system can be helpful.  Practices/tools that can support stress management and nervous system regulation include:

• Breath practices
• Mindfulness & Meditation
• Self-compassion practices
• Being mindful of our language & reframing it (watch out for the ‘shoulds’, more on this a little later)
• Gentle yoga or other mindful movement practices
• Somatic practices
• Time connecting with nature

Commonly over the festive periods routines get thrown out of the window, people try and fit way more in than usual and more than they have capacity for, this is another reason symptoms increase.  There are different contributors to this including feeling pressure to do things a certain way, to do more & make everything ‘perfect ‘ at Christmas.   There’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas or a perfect anything for that matter, one of my wise sisters once said to me ‘it’s the imperfections that make us perfect.’  Christmas has become very over commercialised and there is quite a lot of unhelpful messaging that can make people feel they aren’t good enough unless the Christmas they have matches all the adverts and social media posts.  It can be helpful to remember that it’s only one day of the year and we can choose what we want to do on that day, it doesn’t have to be a certain way.

When managing any condition associated with pain and fatigue there needs to be flexible routine and pacing of activities.  By flexible routine I mean doing the things that support us each day though not in a fixed or prescriptive way.  For example, maintaining a sleep routine, eating food that supports health & wellbeing, pacing activities, using breath practices and other practices to support nervous system regulation, maintaining our boundaries, connecting with others and nature, and used in a way that meets what’s needed each day.   

Sticking to your daily routine as best you can in terms of using the resources/practices that support you in managing the condition you’re living with is important, as well as setting some compassionate boundaries over the festive period.  Creating a flexible plan each day, prioritising and planning what you need and want to do, considering what’s realistic, what supports you, what’s meaningful to you, and consideration of what’s in the week ahead can all help with pain and fatigue management at anytime of year and is especially important with events like Christmas. 

It can be helpful to explore our beliefs, expectations & our language, for example, noticing when we are we telling ourselves that we must do something, that we have to do something, that we should do more/should do something a certain way.  It’s quite likely that if you tend to overdo things that this language is appearing quite a bit, commonly there are a lot of shoulds (this comes from our threat system).  When you catch this language ask yourself where these come from & explore reframing the language.  For example, maybe reframing something from I have to do ‘x’ to I get to do ‘x’ and I’m going to ask for some help to make it easier.  Are your beliefs about Christmas supportive of your wellbeing & values?  It’s not always easy to reframe unsupportive beliefs, expectations and language sometimes support is needed to do this, especially when there is a history of trauma.

It’s important to know your toolbox of resources, knowing your resources and nervous system well can help you to choose which tools/practices are supportive each day, as well as bringing in additional practices to support you over the festive period as needed. It’s helpful to know what your energy nurturers are, what is restful for you and what regulates your nervous system so that these things can be included each day.  We all need rest and when living with a long-term health condition we need extra rest and more so if experiencing an increase in symptoms (often referred to as a flare-up).  The winter time is also the time we need more rest and the busyness that has now become a ‘norm’ of Christmas pulls us out of our natural rhythm with nature and our time for rest and restoration.

Things I see as foundational, are using mindfulness, self-compassion & listening to your body’s wisdom to guide management of pain & fatigue.  Mindfulness simply means being aware of the present moment, or being aware of our experience as we our experiencing it.  If we aren’t aware of what’s happening and how we are then how can we take helpful action?  The way in which we pay attention matters too, it is important that we are aiming to be compassionate and non-judgemental.  Turning a loving awareness towards ourselves is most supportive and it takes ongoing practice.  Being mindful of what’s present in our body in a compassionate way means that we can hear our body’s wisdom and we can use this to guide our choices. 

Here is a summary of tips (there are more than I have written about above, the blog would have got rather long if I wrote a bit about each tip!):

• Have a flexible daily plan
• Have a flare up plan (what supports settling systems down)
• Pace things in a way that supports you (5P’s to remember planning, prioritising, play & purpose, problems solving.  My blog on pacing for pain is linked at the end of this blog)
• Take regular rest breaks
• Check-in with your body regularly
• Listen to your body’s wisdom
• Practice self-compassion
• Be kind to yourself
• Remind yourself what you can do is enough
• Include what’s meaningful each day
• Connect to a sense of playfulness
• Set compassionate boundaries (it’s ok to say no)
• Communicate what’s possible
• Ask for help when needed (asking for help is a strength not a weakness)
• Use daily practices that support you
• Use nervous system regulation practices (for example breath practices, meditation, mindfulness, yoga, somatic & embodiment practices, self-compassion practices, singing/humming)
• Prioritise sleep, rest & restoration
• Manage stress
• Communicate with family & friends
• Reach out for support
• Connect with others & nature
• Spend a little time outdoors each day if you can, or look out of the window & see what you can notice
• Remind yourself Christmas doesn’t have to look or be a certain way
• Explore beliefs & expectations, reframe them if it’s helpful & possible
• Watch out for ‘I should…’, ‘I have to…’, ‘I must…’
• Connect to a sense of joy, wonder, vitality and other nurturing feelings each day

The tips with this post can be helpful for us all and are especially important when living with persistent pain & other conditions.  You don’t need to do them all, trying to change too much at once often has the opposite impact, instead pick one or a few things that feel helpful for you and take action on them.  Maybe you have some tips you would add, I would love to hear them if you do.

It’s important for us all to remember there is no such things as a perfect Christmas & whatever we choose to do is ok and whatever we can do is enough.

Here’s the link to the pacing for persistent pain blog mentioned in this blog (a lot of what is in the blog applies to ME/CFS and long covid too, though pacing for these is slightly different): https://unityphysio.co.uk/what-is-pacing-how-can-it-help-with-persistent-chronic-pain/